Off the Record
by Tauna Petit-Strawn
Summary: The Civil war is waging. Adam and Joe have both joined the fight. Now, with one officially missing in action and no news from the other, Ben and Hoss anxiously wait for news. WARNING: Major character death.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

Ben sat in his chair staring blankly at the dancing flames. It had been a long day, and made longer by the telegram that had arrived that morning. He had known it was bad news the moment Hoss had walked into the house; the gentle giant's face was etched in pain, and he walked far to slow before setting on the couch and handing the yellow piece of paper to his father. It was from the war department.

 _"We regret to inform you…."_ Ben had started reading the telegram out loud, but he'd been unable to finish. The Civil war had torn their home apart and left one brother fighting against another one. Adam had joined the Union Army first and then Joseph had followed, though he had joined the Confederate Army.

Ben stood up and walked over to his desk. He looked at the pictures of all three of his wives and fought to control his emotions. "One son is officially missing in action, and I have no clue to what's happened to the other one." He said as he looked upwards. "Please, watch over my sons. One way or the other, if it's thy will, bring them home."

 **Chapter One**

The sun shone down on the small two-bedroom home that lay up in the hills of Tennessee, miles from other homes and even further from any place that resembled a town. Forty-eight, brown haired Sarah Hunter swept the floor porch while her fifty-year old, balding, husband chopped the wood. The couple were more than self-reliant and, since the war broke out, kept themselves as much as possible. Since they'd never been blessed with any children, it was easy to do. However, they had taken in more than one person through the years and; since the war broke out, they'd helped one solider after another-on either side-with the condition that the soldier understand two things. One, they were Conscientious Objectors; and two, the men promised not to attack another soldier. That is, if the second one did not attack the one already there. If that happened, the men were assured that they would not be the ones asked to leave. However, they had never had that happened, and it had been quite some time since the couple had had to help anyone out.

As Mrs. Hunter turned to her right, she stiffened slightly. She could see a soldier heading towards them…only he staggered every now and then-even leaning against one of the many trees that stood in the area. "Gideon," Sarah called over her shoulder, "We have company, looks like he's hurt."

Gideon put down his axe and turned around. Sure enough, he saw the dark haired soldier his wife was talking about. He shook his head slightly and hurried pass the porch and made his way up the short hill the soldier was now attempting to descend.

"Whoa there," Gideon reached out and grabbed the dark-haired soldier as he started falling to the ground. In no time at all, Gideon was rushing towards the home he'd shared with his wife for the past thirty-three years. By the time he flew up the steps and set foot on the porch, Sarah was holding the front door open.

"I wonder who he is." She said, after grabbing rags, water and other items she and her husband kept in the spare bedroom.

"You and I both," Gideon said as he quickly removed the soldier's shirt and hurried to stop his bleeding. "However, what I wonder even more is how he got hurt, and why isn't he with his unit? There's been no fighting in these parts. Well, not recently."

Sarah had a thought cross her mind, but did not voice it at that moment. Not because she was afraid of anything, she wasn't. She simply thought taking care of the stranger's wound, and hopefully saving his life, was more important than debating just how he got hurt in the first place. Besides, with a war tearing the land apart, she figured she and her husband could be debating that one for hours.

~oOo~

When the flap to his tent opened, Colonel Jason Parker looked up from his desk. He sighed as he saw who had stepped inside, a part of him wishing he had taken the opportunity to go home when he'd had been given the chance. This war; well, any war, cost too many young men their lives or limbs to justify any fighting. And, at sixty years old, the colonel called the majority of the soldiers 'Young soldier'-didn't matter if they were in their teesn, twenties or thirties. For that matter, he'd even called a few of the men in their forties by that term.

"May I help you?" 'How's that for a stupid question' the good general added only to himself, as he didn't really care to hear an answer, any kind of answer.

"I don't suppose you've been able to find out anything?" the soldier sat down on a chair that set next to the long, brown, rectangular table that the general had had set up and rested his arm on the side of it. "Was my brother indeed in the battle? Has he been listed with the wounded, or did he die among the slain?"

Was his brother in the battle? Was his brother alive or dead? How many times had Colonel Parker been asked that question by the men who served under him, or by men who happened to pass their camp? He had stopped counting a long time ago.

"I don't know son." There was a tired look in Colonel Parke's eyes as he answered. "I haven't been able to find anyone who is willing to admit to knowing the answers to those questions."

There was a lightning fast look of anger flash over the soldier's eyes, and then a painful resignation. How could he expect to hear anything different? The battle had more of a small skirmish, one most likely denied by either side. With his brother fighting in one army and him serving in the other one, why would anyone admit anything to the colonel? That is, if they even knew anything in the first place.

"Sorry for bothering you, sir." The weary soldier stood up to leave only to have to be shocked when the colonel began speaking again, and what he was saying wasn't exactly what the soldier had been expecting to hear.


	2. Angels and Friends

Chapter Two

"How is he doing, Mother?" Mr. Hunter walked into the spare room to see his wife lay a wet rag upon the unconscious soldier's forehead; the wounded man was running a fever and muttering something about angels. It had been five hours since they'd laid the stranger in the bed, four since Mr. Hunter had removed the bullet from the man's side.

"Holding his own, though he's running a fever." Sarah sighed as she sat down beside the bed, looking as if she'd aged five years in the past five hours. Truth be told, her husband was pretty much in the same boat.

"Lynn stopped by a few minutes ago," Gideon said as he rested his right elbow on a fading brown dresser that sat against the south wall of the bedroom, and a few feet from the bed.

Sarah's head snapped to her right as she looked at her husband, concern was in her eyes. There was only one Lynn that she knew of, and that was Lynn Benson; he lived a good ten miles down the road…and was known for his hatred of any soldier.

"Don't worry, I didn't tell him about our visitor." Her husband scratched his head, "Just gave him some bread and sent him on his way,"

"Think he'll be back?" She asked as the wounded soldier started mumbling, though nothing he said was understandable.

"No, said he was heading for California," Gideon replied, "He said he wanted to get away from the actual fighting."

"What else is there?" She asked, keeping her eyes on their patient. She'd been married long enough to recognize the sound in her husband's voice. There was something more than Lynn's visit on his mind, and she wanted to know what it was.

"I went for a walk." Gideon said after a few moments of silence. "I found this." He removed his arm from the dresser, reached into his right pant pocket and stepped toward the bed.

Sarah turned her face towards her husband. A slight frown appeared on her face as she took the wallet from her husband, opening it as she did so. Except for a picture, the wallet was empty. Somehow, that did not surprise her. Many of the men they'd helped in the past had very little, if any, money on them. She removed the picture and looked at it; it was a picture of a very beautiful woman. "Think it's his wife?"

Gideon shrugged, "That or a younger version of his mother, one of the two for sure."

Sarah turned it over, hoping to see a name written upon it. Alas there appeared to be a bit of water damage to the photograph, and the first name was blurred and unreadable. "Cartwright," Sarah read the last name slowly and then looked up at her husband. She didn't have to ask why he had a faraway look in his eyes.

"There's no guarantee he's related to Ben." Sarah spoke the words even as her mind wandered back to the young widower who had passed through Tennessee years ago. Was this the young boy who had been with him, or had Mr. Cartwright remarried and had other sons? If only she was good at telling a person's age, she might know. As it was, more times than not, she was seldom right when she tried to figure anyone's age out. Her husband had the same kind of luck when it came to that subject.

"I know that." Gideon, who had a knack for remembering faces even if he hadn't seen a person for years, replied even as he took a second look at the soldier fighting for his life in their home. "Still, he has features that remind me of Ben Cartwright." How Mr. Hunter wished he knew where the man had settled. If he knew that, he would have spent a precious few dollars to wire the man and find if he was indeed missing a son.

"Well," Sarah said as she slid the woman's picture back into the wallet. "We'll just have to wait until our visitor regains consciousness to find out who he is for sure." She then asked her husband to sit with the soldier while she went and fixed some broth. After all, one way or the other, they had to keep putting nutrients into the man's body.

~oOo~

Ben walked down the streets of Virginia City, doing his best not to plow into anyone. Not easy to do when his mind would keep wandering to Adam and Little Joe. When he saw his neighbors, Edwin and Lucinda Small, exit the general store it was all Ben could do to suppress the anger that arose in him. The couple had recently buried their oldest son thanks to the war and only served as a reminder that he could very well be facing the same thing in the future. Ben finished his musings, as he was standing in front of the sheriff's office. Reaching out, he took a hold of the door knob and stepped inside.

Roy, who had been doing paperwork, set down his pencil and pushed the paper work aside. "Hello, Ben. What may I do for you?'

"Nothing really, I was just in town and figured I'd stop by to visit for a few." Ben replied, and then asked if he was interrupting anything.

Roy shook his head as he glanced at the paperwork in front of him. "Nothing that can't wait. Any more news?" he asked as Ben pulled a chair away from the wall and sat down, assuming his friend would know which son he was asking about. He was right.

Ben took his hat off and turned it around in his hands. "No," he answered after a moment of painful silence. "We keep hoping, keep waiting, but that's it. My friends in the Pinkerton agency can't even find out any more than what we already know. Makes for some pretty rough nights,' he didn't think he had to clarify just what it was made that some nights hard; he didn't.

Wanting to do something nice for his friend, and needing a break from paperwork, Roy stood up, grabbed his hat and gestured towards the door. "Let's get a bite to eat at the café; it's on me. And," Roy added when Ben started to object, "don't tell me no."

Ben hesitated and then allowed a smile to spread across his face. "I'll have lunch with you; but, before you offer to pay for anything, you should know I'm supposed to meet Hoss at the café."

"Good thing yesterday was payday." Roy joked as he headed for the door. That only served to make Ben laugh as he exited the sheriff's office behind Roy, grateful he and Hoss had a friend like Roy during these troubled times.

ooooo

 _ **A/N Before anyone says, basically, "Surely the Hunters would be able to tell the age difference between Adam and Little Joe!"….when it comes to that capability—there's a VERY good reason I refuse to try to guess anyone's age. I AM horrible at it. Okay, when I make someone years younger than they really are they have no problem, but… Nope, don't ask me to guess one's age.**_


	3. Helping Hands

***** The town that is mentioned here may, or may not, exist. I am simply pulling a name out of the air-as it were-and using it.

A/N The story and I are guilty as charged, debpet2. Elise…you have a valid point…question is, are you right? Mmm And…sorry, no telegram to Ben. How can that happen when the Hunters don't know where Ben settled? I hope the majority of readers will stick with the story as…. it's going to be awhile before who is who is finally revealed.

Chapter Three

Melinda Kasing, a young auburn haired woman, looked out the store window she owned. Since the town of ***** Coopersville was rather small, the dark-haired stranger that she could see walking down the boardwalk that ran in front of the business in town, stuck out like a sore thumb. His clothes were faded, looked rather wornout, and he walked with a cane in his left hand. To the average eye, he appeared to be a gentleman who had been injured-probably due to the war-and was now passing though town. Only thing was, Melinda Kasing was not the average person, and she was getting a funny feeling that there was more to this stranger than met the eye, though it was not an impression that held any uneasy feeling. That being the case, when he drew near and she could see just how weary he was, and she received an impression to offer him a meal, she opened the door to the store and stepped onto the boardwalk.

"Hello, sir, you look as if you could use a good meal." Melinda smiled nervously, hoping she was interpreting the impression she'd received right.

"I could," the gentleman's eyes sighed as he shook his head, "I don't have enough money on me to pay for much of anything. Perhaps, though, you would have some work I could do?"

She would have told him not to worry about it, but she feared injuring his pride. "We'll talk about that one later," She turned around and motioned for him to follow her. Moments later she was leading the stranger passed the shelves which lined each wall, past the counter and into the living room that was attached to the store. If she lived by herself, she would have simply taken him to the café. As it was, her widowed sister and her five-year-old nephew were living with her so she wasn't afraid of causing any talk.

When Melinda and the stranger entered the living room, her sister Anna K. Russell looked up from her embroidery. While she said nothing, her eyes spoke volumes. "He needs a good meal." Melinda said as she pointed towards the couch. "You can wait there." She then disappeared through a door which led to the kitchen.

Anna watched as the gentleman who her sister had brought into their home sat down. She had a thousand questions run through her mind only problem was, where did she begin without coming across as forward and sending the stranger the wrong message? Finally, she did the one thing that she felt was proper enough. She introduced herself, and then asked him his name. Colonel Parker's words rang in his ears.

 _"The assignment I offer you will enable you to move around without drawing attention to yourself. Along the way, you will be able to ask questions in such a way to, hopefully, aid you in your search for your brother. However, you will not be able to give out your real name, and you will have to appear as if you are no longer fit to fight in the war. I'll give you another name, an alias to go by. That way, should someone get it into their heads to investigate you, the trail won't lead them back to this unit. Though, it is risky. If someone realizes just what you are doing, they will hang you." He'd also added 'It's been taken care of, or leave it to me' when the soldier began asking other questions._

When the colonel told him exactly what the assignment was, he hadn't wanted to take it. He'd wanted to tell him to find someone else only problem was; he kept seeing the skirmish in his head. He kept hearing gunfire and seeing himself turning around… only to watch in horror as his own brother was shot by a fellow comrade. However, before his brother fell, their eyes made contact. In that second, it had taken everything in him not to drop his rifle and run to his brother's side. As it was, a bullet had whizzed over his own head a split-second later, and he was back to fighting. Afterwards, one thing, and only one thing mattered…finding out if his brother was alive or dead. "William, my name is William Carter." He smiled politely and then looked towards the kitchen. He couldn't help it; the delicious aroma that was rolling through the living room from the kitchen was making him even hungrier than he was.

Anna took pity on their visitor and, laying her embroidery aside, stood up. "I'll go ask my sister just how much longer lunch will be."

"Before you do," 'William' interrupted as politely as he could, "I was hoping you'd seen my half-brother. I'm looking for him."

Anna inwardly groaned. How many men had traveled through Coopersville since this blasted war had started? How many had asked the same thing. All right, sometimes it was a father, uncle or cousin they inquired about. "What's his name? What does he look like?"

'William' thought a moment; the Colonel had given him explicit orders not to hand out any names while searching. _"Just give them your brother's first name or description and, if they give you some information, check it out. I'm sorry," The colonel said as a look of utter disbelief appeared on the face of the soldier who stood before him. "I know it will delay your search, but as you've confessed-your brother is fighting on the other side of this war. Your neck is at risk as it is; let's not push you off the cliff from the very beginning."_

With the battles and skirmishes he'd already been in 'William' couldn't see what difference it would make only orders were orders. He took a deep breath and did as his colonel had suggested. When he was through, he waited in anxious anticipation.

Anna thought a moment. She had seen a few men who fit the description of the man William had just described, but had any of them bore the same name? Finally, she shrugged her shoulders. "That description fits a few men we've had travel through here. You might go to the gentleman's club in the next town; they might be able to help you." Then, knowing how little money anyone had on them at this time, but how much pride some men could have, asked cautiously, "I don't suppose I could get you to split some firewood for us. I'd be more than willing to pay you a little bit."

'William' smiled and explained how he already owed the two sisters something for feeding him.

Anna would have been appalled at her sister not telling the man they'd feed him for free only how could she when she knew Melinda was thinking the same way Anna was. "So, I just don't pay you quite as much as I planned. There's plenty of wood to split to warrant paying you a bit of cash on top of the food."

"All right" 'William' nodded after a moment, "the extra cash would help." He might have continued visiting the young widow only Melinda entered the living room and announced lunch was ready. Any more visiting would have to be done around the dining room table.


	4. Hallucinations and Hopes

Off the Record

Chapter Four

Sarah walked into the Hunter's spare room just in time to see the stranger bolt upright and tried to get out of bed; perspiration running off his forehead and heard him yell, "No, no…don't shoot! That's my brother! NO!"

"Gideon!" Sarah turned her head and called out through the open bedroom door, and then hurried over to the bed. By the time her husband ran into the room, Sarah was struggling to get the soldier to lie back down while talking to him. Gideon ran over to the bed and firmly forced the man back down on the bed, though he was careful not to hurt the stranger as he did so.

"Please," the man whose eyes were wide open, but not seeing things are they really were, pleaded, "GET AWAY FROM HERE! YOU'LL GET KILLED! YOU CAN'T DIE! YOU'RE MY BROTHER!" He then started mumbling incoherently, though Gideon and Sarah were able to make out the names of 'Hoss' and 'Pa'.

"There, there son, you got to rest if you're going to heal." Gideon said and then, hoping he was doing right, added, "Hoss and your Pa are waiting for you." That did it; the wounded soldier finally stopped fighting Gideon and lay down.

Gideon let go of the man and stepped away from the bed; he gazed upon their visitor. He was still convinced the wounded soldier was Ben Cartwright's son only, after what the man had just yelled, Mr. Hunter had an answer to one of his questions. Ben had remarried. He then began thinking about the stranger's wounded side. Gideon had not heard of any battles taking place; well, not ones near his and Sarah's home. Without half thinking, Mr. Hunter said, "Has to have been a skirmish."

"What are you talking about?" Sarah, who now sat next to the bed, laying a wet cloth across the stranger's forehead, looked up at her husband.

"His condition," Gideon gestured toward the man they were taking care of. "He had to have been involved in a skirmish, one we haven't heard about. Only thing that makes sense." He thought for a moment, and then said, "Tommy and Agatha are supposed to be arriving soon. I think I'll ask Tommy if he's heard anything and, if he hasn't, ask him to go into town with me. See what we can find out."

Tommy and Agatha were a young couple who the Hunters had taken under their wing a number of years ago. Like Gideon and Sarah, the couple were Conscientious Objectors. That being the case, Mr. Hunter wasn't afraid of asking Agatha to help Sarah take care of the gentleman while Tommy accompanied him.

"How old do you think he is? In his twenties or thirties?" Sarah turned her face away from her husband and looked at the soldier who was still muttering and turning his head from side to side, though his eyes remained closed.

"Don't ask me," Gideon let out a resigned 'harrumph', adding softly, "Age doesn't matter either way though," Then, out of concern for the safety of the stranger and that of Sarah, he added, "I want you to get the four strips of cloth out of the bottom drawer, the ones we use when we have no choice but to tie the wounded men who we've taken care of down."

Sarah's eyes filled with horror. "Do we have to?" The moment she said the words, she knew the answer and why her husband was making the request. If this happened while he and Timothy were in town, the man could do serious harm to himself, her or Agatha-who was a thin built woman who didn't stand over four feet ten inches. "All right," she sighed and stood up and headed for the door. "I put them in our bedroom."

"Forgive me son," Gideon put his right hand on the head board while removing the rag that his wife had laid upon the man with his free one. Afterwards, he felt the gentleman's forehead. He wasn't surprised that he could feel the heat rising off the man's skin. "Lord," he said quietly, "I don't care if this gentleman is the child we met years ago, or another son of Ben's. All I'm asking is for his life to be spared, or," he sighed, "for his suffering not go on too long." That's the part Gideon hated the most about the war…all of the suffering that was inflicted upon people, no matter which side they were on.

~oOo~

Hoss stood at the top of the stairs and looked down upon his father. Ben was sitting in front of the fireplace holding the telegram they'd received and staring into the fire burning in the fireplace. Hoss slowly descended the stairs and made his way to blue chair that sat near the bottom of the staircase. "They'll find him, Pa. You just wait and see."

Ben turned the telegram around in his hands, his eyebrows turning slightly downward for a moment. Then, slowly, let out at breath. "And your other brother? Why don't we hear from him?" He then added quietly, "Will you join in the fight as well?" He turned his head and looked at Hoss.

 _'Please, don't join up unless you have to, Hoss."_ Little Joe's voice rang in Hoss' ears. _'Pa's not a young man anymore whether or not he wants to admit that. With Adam gone, and my leaving now, he needs one of us to help him here, not just the ranch hands."_ On the heel of the words his baby brother had spoken, came Adam's.

" _I fear sooner or later Joe will join one of the armies as well." A look of sadness and resignation could be seen his eyes. "Please, if you can, stay at home…for Pa's sake."_

"I don't have to go to battle to be of use to the Union, Pa. Colonel Blanchard said so." Hoss answered after a minute, not daring to confess he'd used his father's age, and the fact that he-Hoss-was the only son his father had at home to help him to his advantage when talking to the army officer.

Ben went back to looking into the fire. Colonel Blanchard was an officer who had passed through Virginia City, doing what he could to get more recruits. At the time, Ben was sure he was about to lose his third son as well. Once he turned the telegram around in his hands and, one again, he sighed. Where were his sons? It was a question that had no answer, and the only thing he could do was hold onto hope and pray.


	5. Search continues and Another Telegram

A/N 1. I have not taken time to map out roads, towns etc. So…. if the towns-like Coopersville and the one I will mention here, exist? It's pure coincidence.

A/N 2. For those who aren't familiar with The Big Valley, there's an episode called "They Called Her Delilah". The guest star was played by Julie Landon who played Julia Saxon. I borrowed that character for this story. Though, she is only mentioned in this chapter.

A/N Due to a comment I received privately, I need to point out…it does NOT matter who joined up first. That would not necessarily guarantee that the person would go missing first. Has that happened in this case or has the opposite happened? IF this story works with me, I hope to reveal who is who within the next few chapters…Chapter 8 at the latest. Notice…I said I HOPE.

Chapter Five

"Where will you go?" Anna stood on the store's porch and watched 'William' mount the horse her sister had insisted on lending him. Personally, she thought Melinda was crazy to do such a thing. It was one thing to feed the gentleman and give him a bit of money; it was another thing all together to actually hand a horse over to him. Anna was sure the man wouldn't be returning the horse-even if he wanted to.

'William' wasn't blind, and he wasn't stupid. He knew what the young widow feared. Couldn't say he blamed her either, "I'm going straight to Martinsdale and talk to the men at the gentleman's club there." He wasn't about to tell her that, besides looking for answers to his brother's whereabouts, he had an appointment there anyway. "Don't worry, if at all possible, I'll bring back the horse-or at least have found a way to pay you." He then pulled the reins to his right and started riding away from the store.

As he passed the few stores that outlined the town of Coopersville, 'William' couldn't help but wonder just how much the war had affected his brother. Had it changed him? Or, maybe he should ask, how had it changed him? War changed everyone. "Guess I couldn't judge him for whatever changes have taken place" 'William' patted the side of the horse as the houses and businesses of Coopersville disappeared behind him. "It's not like I haven't changed a bit myself." Then, with no one to talk to but the horse, 'William' fell silent and allowed himself the luxury of replaying the memories of his family to roll through his mind. One memory stuck out more than any other. He'd been outside doing chores and was started for the house only to hear his father talking to Roy; the window was slightly opened. It had made it more than easy to hear what was being said.

" _When did he tell you he had decided to fight in the war?" Roy sounded more than concerned, which he probably was. After all, he'd known the Cartwrights for many years._

" _This morning. I wanted to tell him he couldn't, but none of my sons are you boys anymore. All three are grown adults." Ben answered._

'William' sighed as he thought on his brothers. Not knowing about Hoss' talk with the army colonel, he was left to wonder if Hoss had been able to stay out of the war. 'William' hoped so; their father needed someone at the ranch to help him. His mind then turned to his assignment.

" _You need to go to Martinsdale and look up Julia Saxon…" Colonel Parker began speaking when the weary soldier turned back to face him and asked him what he was talking about. "We need you to find out..."_

"Maybe I'll get lucky," He patted the side of the mount Melinda had lent him. "Maybe I'll be able to find out where this Julia Saxon is while getting information about my brother." He then chuckled slightly. Why he was bothering asking the horse anything was beyond him. It's not like the animal could say anything back. By the time he reached Martinsdale, 'William' was more than ready to bed down for the night…he just hoped he could afford whatever room he could find. If not, it was going to be a long, cold night.

~oOo~

Hoss, who had been out mending fences, was famished and had every intention of going into the house and finding out what Hop Sing had fixed for lunch. However, the moment he opened the door his heart skipped a beat. Ben had his right arm resting on top of the fireplace and was once again gazing into the fireplace, he was holding what appeared to be a second telegram…and it looked as if he'd been crying. This could not be good.

Hoss swallowed hard and, pushing the need for food side, hurried over to his father. "Pa?" The tone in his voice asked 'What is it? What is wrong?'; he just couldn't get the actual words to come.

"They're both missing." Ben handed Hoss the telegram without turning his head. "Both my sons are missing." New tears threatened to fall as he spoke.

Hoss took the telegram from his father and felt his heart drop to the bottom of his feet as he began reading silently to himself. Everything in him yelled NO! Though, for the sake of his father, he refrained from actually saying it.

"They'll be okay, Pa, we just got ta believe that." Hoss walked over to the sofa and sat down. "We ain't gonna lose both of them, we just ain't."

Ben closed his eyes and took a deep breath. There were many times in his life where he'd though he knew what Hell must be like only now, with two telegrams within a few days of each other, the pain of the other experiences was nothing. "I hope so son, I truly hope so."

"Mr. Cartw'ight and number two son come, eat. Not good not to eat, need strength." Hop Sing, who had stepped out of the kitchen, looked at both the Cartwright men. He, like they, was extremely concerned for Adam and Little Joe. He didn't want Ben or Hoss to bring harm upon themselves by neglecting themselves.

"I've lost my appetite." Hoss sighed as glanced back down at the telegram.

Hop Sing's eyes widened. Hoss never lost his appetite. Fear gripped his heart. "What happened? What telegram say?" The fear he felt could be heard loud and clear.

Hoss held up the telegram. "Read it yourself, Hop Sing."

Hop Sing hurried through the dining room and over to Hoss. Seconds later he was talking fast, half in English and half in Chinese. "Eat, both of you. Need strength, not neglect. They come home, you see. Number one son and Number three son will come home!"

While neither Ben nor Hoss felt like eating, they didn't want to antagonize Hop Sing either. That being the case, they both made the way to the table and sat down. Moments later, Hop Sing was placing their lunch in front of them. Though they ate the food, very little was said between the two…as they were lost in their own private thoughts.

 **A/N Due to the assumption that the first telegram came from Washington (Maybe it did, maybe it didn't), I went and did some research. I admit, I was assuming before. Which, as you know, isn't a very good thing to do most of the time. Anyway, for once what I assumed was fact. BOTH sides, North AND South had a 'war department'…and I never said which war department it came from. ;) Yes, it's true the South was less likely to send out telegrams; however, they still did it. Though, I should apologize. Since I knew the story was insisting on keep secrets for a while I should have found another way to disclose the 'missing in action' status with the son who went missing first.**

 **A/N Also, either brother could be looking for Julia Saxon…. they'd just be doing the seeking for different reasons.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Guest...When it comes to "William", if you have to ask who he is, you didn't read Chapter Three or you just skimmed over it. And, the only thing I find confusing, as you say, is which Cartwight is injured and which Cartwright is going by the alias (again, re-read Ch 3). And revealing who is who is, as I said in my notes included with the last chapter, something I HOPE to have revealed no later than Chapter Eight.**

 **To the other reviewers, thanks for sticking with me and the story. I know you all want to know which Cartwright is injured and which Cartwright is looking for him. It took me awhile to know for sure which one was which myself...I write freehand, thus I can't always guarantee anything until I have it down in writing. When it does come out who is who, I will only type "William" if someone is talking to him, other than that I'll type his real name.**

Chapter Six

The small living room in "Martinsdale's Bed and Breakfast' was rather plain looking. There was a sofa that sat in the middle of the room and a few upholstered chairs sat against both walls. A long, brown, rectangular table sat in front of the sofa. A portion of 'William' wanted to go to the gentleman's club where he knew things were 'higher class', but he'd been told by one of the town's residents that the rooms at the bed and breakfast were well taken care of… and less expensive than the town's gentleman's club. At the moment, he needed to keep his expenses low. That being the case, he'd opted for the bed and breakfast.

"May I help you?" A gentleman who looked to be in the same age bracket as Ben Cartwright walked out of the kitchen and into the living room. His hair was thinning and going white, and his eyes filled with sympathy as he looked upon the man who now stood in the living room with a cane in his hand.

"Name's William Carter, and I need a room for at least a night, maybe more. Also, if I can, a bite to eat tonight. And," he paused wondering for the hundredth time where his brother was. "I was hoping that; maybe, you had seen my half-brother. I'm looking for him." "William" had asked the resident who told him about the boarding house if he knew anything, but the man had not. He knew it might help his cause more if they knew his brother had actually been wounded, but he didn't need anyone asking him just how he knew that one.

"Well, my name is Hank Jasper, but ya can simply call me Hank." The older gentleman walked over to a cabinet that hung on the east wall and, opening it up, removed a key that hung on the inside of the cabinet door. "You can have room 2; it's up those stairs, second door on the right." He pointed behind "William", who turned around to see where the gentleman was pointing. There was an opening that led from the living room to a hallway. '"William" could see a few steps next to the opening. "Supper's over, but I can have my Missus bring you a plate anyway. Just bring the plate and utensils back down in the morning." He then asked for "William's" brother's description.

"William" took the key and began describing his missing brother. By the time he was finished, he could see that Mr. Jasper was deep in thought. "William" held his breath, wondering if the man was actually going to be able to help him.

"I'm sorry, I can't say I have seen anyone fitting that description; however," he scratched the back of his head, a look of one still deep in throught was on his face, "I know a few couples who live in the surrounding are, Conscientious Objectors, who often deal with the soldiers who pass through the area. Some of the soldiers have simply lost their way, and some are just flat out deserters. But, the couples don't ask if the men have deserted or not. They just feed them and send them on their way. If you want, I could give you their names."

"William" nodded and thanked the man. "Yes, I'll take their names and some food. Thank you." He then excused himself, saying he was going up to the room.

~oOo~

"How long has it been now?" The blonde-haired Agatha asked as she entered 'the sick' room, as she called it and walked up to the foot of the bed. The wounded soldier that lay on the bed had been muttering and thrashing from side to side for almost ten minutes, even to the point of trying to fly off the bed. Of course, thanks to the restraints, he had failed. However, he'd finally settle down, and Sarah was back to laying cold compresses on his forehead.

"Three days," Sarah answered as she stood up and let Agatha take her place and looked upon the dark-haired stranger; her heart went out to him. "Three days of a fever that goes up and down, three days of hallucinations and three days of doing what we can to get as much broth as we can down him."

"Didn't he have something on him, something that identifies who he is?" Agatha asked as she turned her head, enabling her to look at her friend.

Sarah thought about the picture that was in the pocket of the man's uniform. Gideon had removed the uniform and hung it on a hook near the wall. Afterwards, she'd put a long white night gown on the soldier. "Just a picture," she said, and then explained all they knew about him was side he was on-thanks to the uniform-and his last name.

"Cartwright?" Agatha started just a little and looked at Agatha. "My cousin-may he rest in peace- had a Cartwright in his unit awhile back." she paused as she thought on her cousin, and then continued softly, "Father against son, brother against brother, and so forth." She took a deep breath and then sighed. "I wonder if the two men are related."

"Do you know what his first name was?" Sarah-already knowing which unit Agatha's cousin had been in, asked. If they had a name, then they could contact the unit and see if there was indeed a connection between the two soldiers. She said as much too. However, that wasn't to be.

"Shortly after my cousin was killed, they redid the unit." Agatha told her, and then apologized. "I never got Mr. Cartwright's name, just that he served with my cousin for a while."

Sarah started to say something else only to be sent three feet in the air when the soldier's eyes flew open and he again began thrashing around again, trying to get loose. The whole time he was yelling thing such as, "NO! WATCH OUT! THEY'LL KILL YOU!" to "YOU HAVE TO BE ALIVE! YOU'RE MY BROTHER!"

Together the two women managed to get the man back onto his back, the whole time taking turns talking to him. Only when he had settle back down did Agatha redo the restraints…as they'd begun to loosen. On the other hand, great concern appeared in Sarah's eyes. She'd seen a lot, too much, since the war began. She'd seen many men heal and many men die. When this stranger stumbled upon them, she'd held great hopes he too would recover. However, as she reached down and felt the man's forehead, she began to wonder if the war was about to claim yet another causality.


	7. Gentleman's club and Julia Saxon

Chapter Seven

 **Thanks again to those of you who are continuing to read. It makes writing the story worth it.**

 _ **Golden Sun Gentleman's Club**_ , "William" read the sign on the building he now stood in front of. _"...they'd hang you",_ his colonel's warning rang in his ears as "William" started climbing the few steps that led to the door of the establishment. The fact that he'd be in trouble if anyone knew he still had a very active part in the war was something he did not doubt. It was one the main reason he had apologized to the Jaspers when they'd tried to visit with him when he'd eaten breakfast, told them he preferred not to talk about his experiences while in the war. They had more than understood and backed off.

"May I help?" a young woman who worked at the club, walked up and smiled at the newcomer.

"The show tonight, is it true that Julia Saxon is here and will performing?" "William" didn't want to waste time if the colonel had his information wrong, which was something the officer had admitted was a possibility just before "William" had left the unit.

"Yes, it is. Show starts at three this afternoon." came the reply.

Three? "William" silently groaned. If he was to have time to go talk with the Conscientious Objectors on the list that Mr. Jasper had given him, he had to see Miss Saxon before he started making those visits. "Is there any chance I could talk to her, just for a few minutes. I may not be able to attend tonight."

The young woman frowned slightly. She didn't know Miss Saxon well enough to know how she'd react if she was disturbed before the show. Seeing her hesitation, "William" again made his request. "Please, it's important." Then, remembering what his colonel had said, "William" added, "Tell her Mr. Wolf sent me." Personally, "William" wondered who came up with that code name, but he wasn't about to ask.

The young woman could see the urgency in the man's eyes. Not knowing he was only anxious to see Julia so he could continue searching for his brother, the young woman was left to think the urgency was simply connected to the visiting singer. "All right," she gave in and gestured towards a nearby table. "Wait there while I go see if she's accepting visitors."

"William" did as he was told and sat down. While there were a few men in the huge foyer, "William" made no attempt to visit any of them, figuring it was better to not attract any undue attention to himself. While he did not know it, it was a decision that saved him a lot of trouble…as some of the men there just loved to take a person's words and twist them until it got to a point where a fight would break out.

"Sir?" The young woman who had gone to see if Julia would see him, walked up to "William".

"Yes," "William", who had been keeping an eye on the front door…just in case, by some wild chance, someone who actually knew him walked in, turned his face away from the door and looked at the young woman.

"You can go see Miss Saxon. She's in the last room down that hall." She pointed to off to her left.

"Thank you," He stood up and headed for the hallway. Soon he was stood in front of a door that had a sign with two words taped to the door. "JULIA SAXON". He knocked on the door.

"Come in!" a female voice called through the closed door.

"William" didn't need to be told a second time. Moments later, he was in the room and closing the door behind him.

Julia turned her head and looked at the man who had just entered the room. 'Colonel sure knows how to pick them' she thought before telling "William" she didn't bite and to sit down. When he sat down, but said nothing, Julia-who had been brushing her hair-set the brush down on her vanity and gave him a 'don't waste my time' look. "What is it that you needed?"

"You don't know?" "William" asked, disbelief filled his eyes. The way his colonel had talked, he'd just assumed that this Julia Saxon would simply be waiting to talk to him.

"Information," Julia sighed as she thought back to the day she'd started giving Southern officers-in our out of uniform-what little bit of information that she happened to find out. How she wished she'd realized back then that it didn't take a large amount of information to cause a lot of damage. *Since it was too late to start over, she simply assayed her guilty feelings by telling herself she was fighting for what she believed in. With that decision came the knowledge that she would always be watching her back, wondering if the union would discover what she was doing. Every time a man such as this one showed up, in the back of her mind, she'd ask 'Is he really fighting for the South or is he undercover from the Northern side?' It was a question that once again spoke from the back of her mind. Like always, it almost made her change her mind about saying anything else. Only problem was…she'd gone too far to go back now.

"He seemed to think you'd have some." "William" answered, keeping his eyes on Miss Saxon.

"I might, after the performance." Julie slowly admitted. "Will you be there?"

Inwardly he groaned, he had to start seeking out the Conscientious Objectors; he had to find his brother. "I have some visits to make; I don't know that I'll be back by three. However," he paused and then said, "I will be back as soon as I can." He took a hold of the cane he was now using, stood up and walked out the door.


	8. One Search Ends

A/N You are right, Deb, which is exactly why I promised to do my best reveal who is who by this chapter. And, as you you will see, the story worked with me and did just that. Also, anyone wishing to leave downright negative remarks... sign in. No one forces you to read the story, and no one will force me to accept the verbal bull unless they have a backbone to sign in.

Chapter Eight

Ben walked out of the house and made his way to the porch. Hoss was leaning the left side of his body against one of the posts as his eyes surveyed the scenery in front of the house. Ben didn't have to ask what his middle son was thinking about; he just wished he knew what to say.'

When the silence between them broken, it was because Hoss started speaking. "The Johnson sons, Mark and Matthew, arrived home today." Hoss turned his head and looked at his father. "Roy says he can't believe how much Mark has changed, said Matthew's even grown up quite a bit. Though, he did say Mark is already talkin' about signi'g up again. That is, iff'n the doctors can do more fer that leg of his."

Ben thought for a moment, as he thought on the Johnson family and the two sons. Mark was close to Adam's age only he was married while Matthew was closer to Little Joe's. For a split second he was angry, angry that that the two Johnson sons had come home while his two sons were still missing. Of course, he quickly chastised himself. "I'm happy for the Johnsons; I know they've been just as concerned for their sons as I am for Adam and Little Joe."

Hoss turned sideways, resting his back against the post. He could see the intense pain in his father's eyes. While he felt horrible himself, he felt even worse for his father. He didn't have to be a father to know the pain for a missing child had to be, somehow, different than simply concerned for your brother. "Ya think the war's changed them? Wherever they are?"

Ben let out a long, drawn out sigh as he closed his eyes for a moment. He'd been through a few struggles in his life, but never a war between the states. "Probably, some," he opened his eyes and gave Hoss a sympathetic smile. "Though, I can't see either of them changing for the worse." He then stepped off the porch. "Work around here isn't going to do itself, guess we best get it done." It's not like he really felt like working; he didn't. It's just that keeping busy gave him less time to wonder what was happening to his sons.

~oOo~

"William" made his way around the windy road he was traveling on, and up, a trail that set on a slight incline. He thought on the past three days. After his talk with Julia Saxon, he'd traveled to the first two families on the list the Jaspers had given him. Nothing, neither one of them could tell him a thing. Afterwards, he'd gone back to the gentleman's club to see Julia, only she'd eaten something bad for lunch and was sick…which had delayed her performance. At least, the Jaspers had needed some work done around the bed and breakfast, enabling him earn enough to cover his expenses he was incurring while staying in the room they gave him. And, since he still had to see Julia Saxon and still had to two couples to visit, he wasn't going to complain.

When a small home with smoke rising from its chimney came into view, he headed straight for it. He'd already been to the first names on the list, an elderly couple in their sixties. They'd apologized and said they hadn't seen anyone fitting the description he'd given them. However, they had told him that he might want to try visiting the home Tommy and Agatha Mitchell…as they lived only two miles down the road. Since the other three names on the list were farther out, "William" had taken the elderly couples advice. It wasn't long before a gentleman who appeared to be in his thirties opened the door.

"May I help you, stranger?" He asked as he looked at the stranger in front of him.

"The name is William." 'William' answered, and then once again explained exactly who he was looking for. "I was told you might be able to help me."

Tommy paused for a moment, wondering if the stranger was for real. He was more than surprised to have the words 'tell him, tell him everything' come into his mind. Since he'd never been one to ignore the promptings that came his way, he said, "My wife and I have been helping our friends, the Hunters, with an injured soldier who fits that description, but I'm not guaranteeing anything." Tommy saw both hope and concern appear in the stranger's eyes.

"William" quickly thanked the man, turned around and remounted his horse.

"Don't you want to directions, mister?" The gentleman asking, thinking his visitor had forgotten something.

The Hunters were on the list he had with him, along with instructions to their house. However, he didn't have time to explain all about that. Time was running short, and he had to be heading back to the gentleman's club before long. "I know where they live." He answered as he rode away, leaving Tommy to go about his day.

"William" rode his horse hard, but not so hard as to hurt the animal. Once again, the skirmish repeated itself in his mind. By the time he reached the Hunters, Gideon, who had just arrived home, was heading for the front door.

"Looks to be pushing his horse mighty hard, wonder who he is." Gideon said only to himself as he watched the stranger draw closer. By the time the man had stopped his horse and dismounted, Gideon's eyes had widened. He realized that the stranger also had similar traits as Ben Cartwright. Like Tommy's brother, he asked William" what he could do for him.

"William" opened his mouth to introduce himself only to be shocked to have the impression to give the man the title 'William' bore in the army and to go ahead and give him his real last name. It shocked him to no end, and he might not have listened only, on the tail end of the impression, he could hear his father saying 'Never argue with the spirit, son. You'll lose every time.' "My name is Sargent Cartwright, but I would appreciate it if you just referred to me as William Carter while I'm in Martinsdale. My life could depend on it." He then went on to explain just what his visit was about.

If Gideon hadn't already noticed the family resemblance, he might have balked at admitting that he and his wife were still tending to the wounded soldier. However, he had the strongest impression that he'd ever had roll over him, one that said 'trust him, let him see the soldier and go along with anything he asks of you!" It only served to convince Gideon he did indeed have another Cartwright at his home. "This way," He said as he turned and walked to the door.

His heart pounding, "William" followed the man into the house, through the living room and into the sick room. The second Gideon stepped aside, allowing "William" to see the soldier who was fighting for his life, "William" felt his heart jump into his throat as he practically flew to the side of the bed where his brother lay. He wasted no time in laying his hand upon his brother's forehead. He felt the hot skin burn his fingers, and realized just how empty the man's green eyes-which were wide open, but looking at nothing in particular, seemed to be.

Gideon and Sarah, who had joined her husband, felt their heart strings being pulled as Sargent Cartwright fell to his knees while keeping his brown eyes on their patient and cried out, "Oh, Joe!"


	9. Talking with the Hunters

Chapter Nine

 _ **Previously:**_

 _His heart pounding, "William" followed the man into the house, through the living room and into the sick room. The second Gideon stepped aside, allowing "William" to see the soldier who was fighting for his life, "William" felt his heart jump into his throat as he practically flew to the side of the bed where his brother lay. He wasted no time in laying his hand upon his brother's forehead. He felt the hot skin burn his fingers, and realized just how empty the man's green eyes-which were wide open, but looking at nothing in particular, seemed to be._

 _Gideon and Sarah, who had joined her husband, felt their heart strings being pulled as Sargent Cartwright fell to his knees while keeping his brown eyes on their patient and cried out, "Oh, Joe!"_

 _~oOo~_

Adam sat next to Joe's bed while accepting a cup of coffee from Mrs. Hunter. She then sat down next to her husband; Gideon had brought their kitchen chairs into the bedroom, so they'd also have a place to sit while visiting Ben's oldest son.

"You are right." Adam sighed as he looked at Gideon and Sarah before returning his gaze to his baby brother. He'd spent a solid hour talking to his brother, even if Joe didn't respond. "There was a skirmish that took place, and it wasn't all that far away."

"Why has no one around here heard about it?" Gideon asked; his wife's eyes asked the same question.

A look of disgust appeared on Adam's face as he answered quietly, "There's a lot of skirmishes that don't get recorded or acknowledged." He shoulders slumped slightly, "There's a lot of things that have happened, will happen, off the record, so to speak."

Gideon wanted to ask if that was why Adam was going by another name and was out of uniform. Only he didn't want to push the oldest Cartwright to speak of things that could, eventually, harm him.

Adam wasn't blind; he could see the questions in the couple's eyes. He couldn't blame them either. He couldn't tell them everything only he felt strongly they needed to be told some things. "I am trying to find evidence to prove someone's guilt in a few matters, but in order to do so, it's imperative that people in town continue to believe me to be a disabled soldier who fought for the south." He took his eyes off Joe and looked straight at Gideon and Sarah. "The skirmish that my brother was involved in never should have happened; Joe never should have been wounded there… somewhere else maybe, but not there." He paused and then asked quietly, "At the moment, I cannot make any sort of contact with my family…as much as it pains me not to. It would endanger my mission. However," he leaned forward, keeping his arm on Joe's motionless arm, "If I give you just enough to buy some paper and a stamp, would you write to my father and other brother. Tell them that Joe's been found, wounded and in critical condition. I know my father; he will want to hop the first train he can catch and come out here. However, please beg him not to. Tell him it's not safe to for him to be in this area right now. Tell him that he will be notified-one way or the other-as soon as it's safe too. Do not," Adam's felt more pains of guilt shoot through him as he paused and then added, "Do not say one word about me. I'm listed as missing in action, and it needs to stay that way for now."

Gideon and Sarah could see severe pain in Adam's eyes as he spoke. It made them hurt, and wished they could do more than they were. "Don't worry about the paper and stamp." Gideon spoke up after a moment of intense silence. "My wife was a teacher before we married, and she's helped the local teacher several times through the years. We have writing paper in the house, and I have a stamp I can use." Then, without half thinking, Gideon looked from Adam to Joe and then back to Adam. "He looks nothing like you, and yet he does in many ways. Too bad you're on the opposite side of the war." He quickly apologized as Adam stiffened ever so slightly. "I guess I should have kept that thought to myself.

"No, you are fine." Adam sighed and relaxed as he took off the cold compress that laid on his baby brother's forehead, dipped it in the water basin that sat on the nearby dresser, and then put it back on his brother. The fever that was running through Joe's body wasn't as hot as it at once been, but it wasn't breaking either…and he remained unconscious. It pained Adam to know that, in all honesty, unless they received a miracle, there was a high chance he'd found his brother only to face the tasking of sending him home to be buried next to Marie. "He and I always seemed to be at odds while he was growing up. A good portion of that was simply due to his youth. Before I left," Adam sat back in his chair and took a deep breath, "He caught up with me; he wanted to talk before I officially joined the union in the fight. I expected to find him arguing with me, telling me how wrong I was. I thought he'd try to convince me to join the Southern States in this war."

"But he didn't?" Gideon asked when Adam fell silent, a look of longing appearing in his eyes.

"No," Adam shook his head. "He surprised me, admitted he could see my side of things…just didn't agree with me. However," Adam let out another deep breath, as he fought to keep control of his emotions. "He asked if there was a way we could make peace with each other before I left. At the time, he wasn't sure if he was going to officially join in the fight or not. He said he didn't want to chance the last words we ever spoke to each other to be ones of hatred and anger."

"Sounds like a youth who has a level of maturity in him then," Sarah spoke up, her eyes full of compassion for both of the Cartwrights in the Hunter's home.

"Yeah," Adam stood up slowly, keeping his eyes on Joe, "I saw it that last time we talked. I just hope…" he closed his eyes for a moment, and then opened them up again. "I need to go. I have an appointment in Martinsdale, and I can't be late." He paused again and then, taking a hold of Joe's arm once more, said, "I'll be back if I can. For now, if anyone asks anything, tell them I said Joe and I are simply soldiers who have met in the past...that I'm still looking for my half-brother. If they question you further, show them his Confederate uniform."

"Will do, Adam." Mr. Hunter, who knew full the dots could be connected and Adam's true identity exposed if his link to Little Joe was revealed, answered while his wife simply nodded as Adam let go of Joe's arm and walked out of the room.


	10. Small miracle and a third telegram

A/N With Julia's connection to the character Jarrod Barkley, from The Big Valley, he's mentioned in this chapter. And, he'll be making at least one appearance in another chapter if things go as planned. However, I'm not going to move this over to the cross over section. His appearance/s aren't going to be enough to warrant it. Not in my opinion anyway,

Chapter Ten

The gentleman's club was packed when Adam walked through the doors and began looking for a place to sit down. From all he'd heard about Miss Saxon, Adam wasn't surprised. He just hoped no one in the crowd had been in any of the battles, or skirmishes, he had been. That part, the part that someone could recognize him, was a bit unsettling at times. Though, the risk had paled compared to his need to find Joe. Now, it paled in comparison to his determination to do what he could to expose at least one of the people enabling so many off the record, unnecessary, skirmishes to take place. And, they were unnecessary in his book.

"Mr. Carter," The young woman who had greeted him on his first visit to the club, walked up to him smiling. "There's a seat reserved for you, near the front. Please, follow me." She then turned and started walking to the reserved table; Adam followed. While they walked, the young woman was busy talking. "Miss Saxon apologizes. She said she was going to talk to you before the show only she had a friend from Washington show up unexpectedly, a Captain Jarrod Barkley. She promises to do what she can to find time to talk to you after the show. If not, she'll at least send word where the two of you can meet later."

It was all Adam could do not to curse. He had hoped to talk with Julia, get the proof he needed and send a coded message to his colonel. That would free him up to go back to the Hunters and sit with Joe. Now he was going to hang around and hope for the best. Though, as he sat down, he tried to think of a believable reason to send for this Jarrod Barkley. After all, if the man was from Washington, he should be told about the suspicions that the North had when it came to the beautiful singer, if he didn't know already. There had to be a way to meet the captain without raising anyone's suspicions. However, Adam didn't have to dwell on the subject long as he was handed a small miracle; the waitress solved the problem for him.

"As you can see," the young auburn hair waitress said as she and Adam reached the table she had led him to, "we have a full house." She handed Adam a list of beverages the club had available after he'd pulled out the closest chair and sat down. "I was hoping, if you didn't mind, to have Captain Barkley also sit here." Her hesitancy could be heard in her voice.

Adam, who didn't have to ask why she was so nervous asking such a thing, wasn't about to turn down the request. Though, he knew he had to hide the fact that he was elated with the turn of events. "As long as you make it clear to everyone it was your idea, not mine. I won't mind."

"Yes, sir!" The waitress smiled wide. She didn't mind taking the responsibility for it; why should she? She _had_ been her idea. She turned and quickly walked away.

~oOo~

Hop Sing walked out of the kitchen to see Ben once again standing by the fireplace. He could see fresh tears in his employer's eyes and a telegram in his hand. Unbeknownst to Adam, Mr. Hunter had decided to send a telegram on top of writing a letter. He hadn't cared if it meant spending a few of his own precious dollars.

"Mr. Car'wright have news?" Hop Sing asked quietly as he moved quickly from the dining room to the living room.

Ben felt a sharp knife enter his heart once more as he glanced at the words on the telegram once more.

 _Your son, Joe found STOP Critical condition STOP Do NOT come Too Dangerous STOP Will send word once it's safe STOP Letter to follow STOP Gideon Hunter STOP_

If it wasn't for the fact that Ben recognized Gideon's name, had his attorney check to see if the man was still as honest and as good as Ben remembered him to be, and had the attorney tell him later that-yes-Gideon was still as good as gold…Ben would have ignored the request to stay on the Ponderosa. As was, he thanked the Lord that his youngest had been found, prayed that Joe would pull through, and that the promised letter would arrive soon. He handed the telegram to Hop Sing. "If only they'd find Adam too." He said once Hop Sing had taken the telegram from him.

"Does Number Two son know this?" Hop Sing asked, after he'd read the message and handed it back. Not having seen Hoss since breakfast, he didn't where Hoss was, nor did he know what the gentle giant was doing.

Ben sighed and nodded. "He's out in the barn; I showed it to him before I came into the house." His giant of a son had leaned on the stall door afterwards and hung his head, though he 'd said nothing. Ben had not pushed him to talk either. How could he when Ben didn't have a clue as to what to say himself? Ben then sent shock waves through Hop Sing as he threw the telegram into the fireplace and cursed loudly. Though, he quickly apologized to the wide eyed Chinese servant.

"I am sorry," his spoke, the weariness he felt could be heard in his voice and seen in his tired eyes. "I've always been able to be go to Joe when he's been injured or sick. I've always been able to do something, anything, to help him. Now, he's miles away, and I can't do one thing for him. I feel so helpless."

"Not true, you can do one thing." Hop Sing, who knew the faith his employer had, spoke with compassion.

Ben's head snapped up as he looked at Hop Sing. Then, before Hop Sing could say another thing, Ben felt duly chastised. "Pray," he gave Hop Sing a small, painful smile. "I can pray."

"Yes, he hear you. You man of faith. You pray sons be found. One found now; he need more prayer. Maybe he live, maybe he join Miss Marie. I do not know, but you can pray." Hop Sing replied. "And you see, you get Number One son back too. He be found too." Hop Sing turned around and headed back towards the kitchen, muttering in Chinese as he did so.

Ben rested his hand on the fireplace's mantle, bowed his head and did just as Hop Sing had said. After all, as Hop Sing had just pointed out, it was the one thing he could do for both his sons.


	11. Adam and Jarrod talk

Chapter Eleven

Adam sat on a crate behind the gentleman's club and waited for Captain Barkley to join him. After the program, had started, and unaware that Jarrod Barkley's visit to Julia was not his first, Adam had taken a huge risk and mouthed to Jarrod that he needed to talk to him. He'd also sent a clear message with his eyes as he did so, one that said 'we can't chance being overheard'. Jarrod had gotten the message; he discreetly gestured towards the side door and sent the silent message 'leave first, I'll follow when I can'. Adam had waited a few minutes, and then did just that. Only now he was growing nervous. It had been fifteen minutes, and he was supposed to meet Julia in another fifteen. Just as he was about to give up and go back inside, Jarrod walked around the corner.

"I'm sorry to keep you, Mister Carter." Jarrod, having only the name the waitress had given him, addressed Adam as he walked up to crate on which Adam was resting. "What is so important that you wish to talk to me?" The fact that an ex Southern soldier, a disabled one at that, would want to talk to him in private had almost stopped Jarrod from meeting with him. However, he'd had such a strong pull when the man told him he needed to talk to him that Jarrod couldn't deny him.

Adam didn't answer right away; he was busy studying Jarrod. Through the years, and his many experiences, he'd learned to read men pretty well. Only now, knowing his baby brother was fighting what could be a losing battle, Adam just hoped he was still focused enough to be reading his feelings concerning Jarrod Barkley right. "My name is Sergeant Adam Cartwright; William Carter is just a name I am using for right now. Colonel Parker can vouch for me if necessary."

Jarrod's eyes widened as he leaned against the dark brick building. He knew of Colonel Parker and, though he'd never laid his eyes on Adam before, had heard plenty concerning him as well. "You're listed as missing in action; you know that?" Jarrod asked, feeling strongly he was asking a rather unnecessary question.

"You can thank my colonel and the government for that. I'm here at their request. Or I should say, my colonel pushed for me to be given the assignment." Adam sighed, and then looked at Jarrod so intensely that it made Jarrod uncomfortable.

"What is going on?" Jarrod shifted his weight, not sure he wanted to hear the answer, but knew he needed to hear it anyway.

"Time and time again small bits of information have leaked from our side to the other. Some of the times, the information has done little damage only other times..." Adam paused as he fought to control the anger he felt rising inside of him, "Not that long ago my unit was transporting a small; and I mean small, amount of gold from one place to another. No one, absolutely no one but the colonel, his aide, and a couple of other people were supposed to know."

Jarrod took an educated guess when Adam looked at him as if to say, 'Can you fill in the blanks?' "But someone did, the South found out and your unit found yourself in a fight for your lives?"

"Yes, and very good men on both sides were wounded or lost." Adam again had to fight his emotions.

"What has this got to do with me, and how come I get the feeling you're not just here because the government sent you?" Jarrod, who had only heard the Northern armies suspected a few people of spying for the South and could see the angry look in Adam's eyes, asked.

Adam didn't answer right away as he thought on Joe, lying in a stranger's bed. "I'd rather not answer that last part right now, but if you'll hear me out on the first half, I promise to tell you later."

Jarrod stepped away from the wall and took a few steps before stopping and facing Adam. "Did the colonel tell you to pull me in on whatever is going on?"

"No," Adam admitted, "but the waitress said you were from Washington and…" he paused, wondering how receptive Jarrod would be once he heard the woman he, Jarrod, had just visited was a prime suspect, "you've met with Julia Saxon."

Jarrod took a startled step backwards. He'd met Julia through a mutual friend, and they'd hit it off immediately. He'd visited her every chance he got. Now, the way Adam was looking at him, Jarrod had a bad feeling roll over him. "What about her?"

"I'm supposed to meet her in a few minutes." Adam stood up and glanced at his watch. "She thinks the same as everyone else; she doesn't know I'm a Union soldier."

The light went on in Jarrod's mind, and his eyes widened. "You think she's a traitor! You think she's playing both sides!"

"It's what the colonel and others suspect." Adam admitted, and then told Jarrod of his conversation with the singer. "If she actually gives me any information, I'm supposed to contact someone, anyone, in Washington who has connections to those who deal with spies." He looked at Jarrod, his eyes repeating his earlier words about where Jarrod was stationed.

Jarrod was reeling from what Adam had just told him; he didn't want to believe it. Still, Julia _was_ able to meet and talk with many of the Northern officers. He couldn't deny that one. Though, if he was going to stick around and, maybe, find out Julia wasn't what he thought she was, he wanted to know exactly what's going on. "If you want my help in anyway, I want to know everything." He wasn't about start doubting Julia if the gentleman in front of him was going to hide any amount of information from him. "What's the part you're not saying?"

Adam hesitated. He didn't want to talk about his brother at the moment. All he wanted to do was talk with Julia Saxon, see if she really would share information with someone she was convinced was from the South, and get back to Joe. Finally, knowing if Jarrod didn't stick around, he-Adam- would be forced to leave Martinsdale and head to Washington himself if he got the proof he needed, Adam relented. "My brother joined the South in this fight." He wasn't surprised by the shocked look that came upon Jarrod's face. However, Adam didn't let that him stop him from continuing. "He was wounded-possibly fatally-in the skirmish I told you about." When Jarrod's eyes filled with curiosity, Adam added, "No, it wasn't my bullet that wounded him. Look," he glanced at his watch again. "What matters is many of the skirmishes, including that one, never should have happened. Most the units who were attacked were carrying little, or nothing, on them. We've lost many men due to leaks from various spies. The more spies we can stop; the better off we will all be." He stopped speaking and, once again, his eyes bore into the young captain. "If she does give me any information, I could give it to you and you could take the information back to Washington while I send a coded message to Colonel Parker. I told him I'd do that if I found my brother and needed to be 'missing in action' a bit longer." He paused again and then asked quietly, "Will you remain at the hotel or not?"

Jarrod, still slightly stunned, did his best to wrap his mind around what he'd just been told. He wanted to tell Adam that they were wasting time, and that Julia Saxon was innocent. However, he realized he couldn't do that. The government would want proof, not just someone's word. Jarrod nodded his head. "I can stay one more day."

Adam thanked him and started to walk away, and then turned back around. He felt sorry for the young man who looked as if he felt like he'd been punched in the gut. "If it makes any difference, I hope we're all wrong." He then turned and walked away.


	12. Memories and Information

Chapter Twelve

The stars seemed to fill every inch of the night sky as Ben made his way down the stairs. He'd been unable to sleep and thought maybe some warm milk might help him sleep. However, the milk was forgotten as he saw Hoss sitting on the sofa staring at the dancing flames in the fireplace. Ben felt his heart go out to his middle son. The man had a heart of gold and loved his brothers dearly. Ben knew the news that Joe was wounded and in critical condition upset Hoss greatly. Ben sat in his chair near the fireplace and looked at Hoss. "Couldn't sleep either?"

Hoss shook his head and looked away from the fireplace. "Joe's been found, and he's critical! I don't see why we can't go to him!" The moment the words were out of his mouth Hoss wished he could take them back, as he could see the pain in his father's eyes double.

Ben couldn't blame Hoss for his reaction, a part of him felt the exact same way. However, as he'd done as Hop Sing had encouraged him to do…and had done a number of times since receiving news of his youngest son's condition. "We have been asked to stay here, and I have received very strong impressions to do just that." He sighed and then added, "What you choose to do is up to you. I will not try and stop you if you wish to go."

Hoss looked at his father as if he'd lost it. As badly as he wanted to go to Joe, he wasn't leaving his father alone on the ranch. If he did that, and anything happened to Ben, Joe would kill him…even if he died and had to come back to life just long enough to the job! All right, maybe not, only both Adam and Joe had asked him to stay with their father, and Hoss had promised he would. "What if he dies, pa?" Hoss' voice was low, and Ben could barely hear what his son asked. Still he heard, and it cut him the center.

"Then Gideon will send us word." Ben answered almost as quietly. He then thought on the promised letter. They had only just received the telegram; he suspected it would take at least a week before any letter arrived. He just hoped they didn't receive another telegram before then. Well, unless it was from Adam himself. If that was the case, Ben would gladly accept another one. Ben was brought out of his thoughts when Hoss surprised him when he began reminiscing aloud. A part of Ben wanted to tell his middle son that he, Ben, didn't feel like it. However, he sensed Hoss' need to talk about his brothers, so he didn't stop him. Before he knew it, Ben was smiling, laughing and swapping stories that had both Adam and Little Joe in them with Hoss. While their hearts still ached to know just what the outcome would be for Little Joe, and just where Adam was, by the time Ben and Hoss finally went to their separate rooms, they had taken comfort from the memories and were able to relax enough to fall asleep and get a decent amount of rest.

~oOo~

Adam stood outside Julia's dressing room and knocked, hoping for the best. When Julia didn't answer, he knocked again. He wondered if, by some chance, she'd learned that he and Jarrod had met each other and talked. He hoped that wasn't the case. If it was, he was sure the singer had hurried and left Martinsdale. Just as he turned away from the door, convinced he had either missed his chance to talk with the singer or that she'd actually fled, Julia came around the corner of the hallway.

"I'm sorry, I was detained backstage. I hope you haven't been waiting long." Julia smiled as she stopped in front of him and unlocked the door. Once it was opened, she stepped inside, apologizing as she did so. "The manager told me he was going to remodel this room, but I didn't understand he was going to start quite yet.

Adam mentally shook his head; the room was in disarray, with a new mirror propped up against the wall and various items spread throughout the room. "I just have to get my purse. We can visit in one of the other dressing rooms." Julia said as she picked up a brown bag that sat on a vanity, one that Adam admitted looked as if it should have been replaced years ago. When Julia headed for the door, Adam quickly stepped aside and let her through, shutting the door behind him.

When the two first started down the hallway, neither one spoke…partly because they didn't know each other, mostly because the cleaning woman was walking towards them. Only when the club's employee was no longer within hearing range, Adam said quietly. "Do you have information for me, or don't you?"

Again, Julia thought of the past, though it wasn't for long. The moment she'd realized what she was involved in, she always assayed her guilty feelings by telling herself that was fighting for what she believed it…and fights always included risks.

"In here," Julia opened the last door at the end of the hallway; it was on the left. Moments later, she was seated at a vanity and Adam had pulled over a chair.

"Well?" Adam spoke evenly and succeeded in hiding any impatience he felt; and he did feel it. "Did Mr. Wolf waste my time sending me here or not?

Julia picked up a brown handled hair brush; there were flowers engraved on the handle and around the edge of the actual bristles. She threw a glance towards Adam and then looked back at the brush before she began brushing her hair. "First off, there's no need to call Major Bennion 'Mr. Wolf' when were alone; Hyrum will do."

It was all Adam could do to maintain his composure. Major Hyrum Bennion was a name he'd heard his colonel and others mention. In fact, the moment Julia said the man's name, Adam could hear 'Major Bennion is one of the South's finest officers! If we could just figure out how he's learning so much' in his ears; two officers in his unit had been having a heated discussion until they realized Adam was heading their way. "Fine, Hyrum it is." Adam forced himself to smile. "Is there a second?" He asked when Julia stopped brushing her hair.

"I had an interesting conversation with a captain from Washington." Julia slowly answered as she set the brush down and turned to face Adam.

Again, Adam forced himself to smile, wondering just how young Captain Barkley would feel once he learned that Julia was repeating things Jarrod had apparently shared with her. "Do I hear a but?" Adam asked, when the singer hesitated. He was surprised to see a tired look flash over her eyes. Maybe, just maybe, she wasn't the cold-hearted spy his colonel thought her to be.

"No, buts," Julia sat up straight and repeated everything she'd learned over the past twenty-four hours. By the time she was finished, Adam was reeling in shock. Wait until Jarrod Barkley heard what Adam had to tell him.

A/N I know some of you are expecting drama…only this story is turning out to be more one of Angst/Hurt/Comfort and AN EXTREMELY HIGH chance of tragedy-meaning I'm still not convinced Joe will survive.


	13. Ch 13

A/ Ann, you didn't sign in so I can't ask you this privately. What do you mean..."come on now let joe the story."? Let Joe live? I write what comes...so we shall see.

Chapter Thirteen

"I don't believe you!" Jarrod stood in the middle of his hotel room looking as if Adam had just hit him with a thousand bolts of lightning. He couldn't believe what he'd heard.

Adam didn't like repeating himself only he did. "Julia Saxon _is_ a spy, and she's working for the South." He walked over to the bedroom window and pulled the curtain away from the window, just enough to enable him to see the gentleman's club and several other businesses, though he stood to the side of the window. He wanted to keep an eye on things, but he didn't want to make it so just anyone could see him either. "During your visit with Miss Saxon did you, or did you not, mention that ***** Lt General Ulysses S. Grant is planning an overland Campaign against Robert E. Lee and the Confederate Army of Northern Virginia?" Adam turned his head and looked straight at Jarrod . "Or, did she hear it from one of the other union officers she sees?"

Jarrod paled and stiffened ever so slightly. Normally he did not discuss anything thing he'd heard in Washington with anyone. However, he'd been told there was a small possibility he might be transferred…and that transfer would put him under the direct command of the famous Northern general. If that happened, he would not be able to see Julia as much as he'd been seeing her, and he'd wanted her to know why.

"I'm sorry, Captain Barkley." Adam, who realized-by the look in Jarrod's eyes-there had to be more than a friendly relationship between Julia and him, stepped away from the window and let curtain fall back to the side of the window. "But, you can't confide in her anymore, and Washington needs to know about this."

Jarrod, still feeling as he'd just had knives thrust into his heart and back, managed to nod his head. The fact that he'd have to be the one to officially expose Julia had him reeling, but he had no choice. As Adam said, the government needed to know. "You will be going to your brother?" The dazed look on Jarrod's face disappeared as he turned his head and looked at Adam.

Adam nodded. "I was hoping to. If he hasn't already…." Adam found himself choking on his words. Joe had to be alive and doing better, he just had to.

Having regained his composure, Jarrod's professional side kicked in and he nodded towards the door. "Get out of here; go to your brother. There's a stagecoach leaving early first thing in the morning. I promise, I'll be on it and, no, I won't talk to Julia Saxon first. I promise."

Like Jarrod knew of Adam's reputation, Adam knew of his. Jarrod Barkley's word was as good as gold. Adam let out a deep breath, one he hadn't even realized he'd been holding. "Thank you, Captain. I would appreciate that. Now, if you don't mind. I need to disturb what I am sure will be one very unhappy telegraph officer. I will inform Colonel Parker that you will be the giving the official report to Washington." He started for the door only stop and look back. "Please, remember, I'm still missing in action until Colonel Parker says different."

Jarrod nodded, but said nothing. What was there to say?

Adam turned and hurried out of the room and down the hallway. He would have flown down stairs leading up to the rooms as well only the clerk was up. The last thing he needed was to have the gentleman see just how well Adam was really walking. So, as anxious as he was to be on his way, he made his way down the stairs just as slowly as he'd gone up there. Smiling and nodding at the clerk, but saying nothing, Adam walked out the front door.

Once outside, he made his way around the building, down the alley and stepped onto the path that lay behind the establishments. Because he'd checked it out earlier, Adam knew the path led straight to the livery stable. Since it was now dark, Adam began running as fast as he could. The sooner he got his horse; the sooner he could get back to the Hunters. He just prayed that the cover of darkness would prevent him from being seen; it did.

~oOo~

Hoss was sitting on the porch, his coat buttoned to the top and his work gloves still on his hands. It had been a long day, full of checking the fences and feeding the cattle hay while also looking them over to be sure they were still healthy. Winters could be hard on cattle and he needed to be sure they didn't lose due to lack of attention from him. They did have a few employees who had not joined one of the armies, but with Adam and Joe both gone, everyone was working longer hours. He held the letter he and his father had received just that morning. It had arrived much faster than either of them had expected. 'Gideon must have pulled a few strings' Ben had joked when he'd picked it up from the post office.

Ben, who had been out in the barn, walked out of the building up to Hoss. "I should be happy that Mr. Hunter and his wife are doin' all they can for Little Joe. What with him in a Confederate uniform when he staggered onto their land." Hoss said after sitting up straight and looking at his father, who had sat down next to the table that sat on the front porch.

"Call me whatever, say whatever you want." Ben leaned back in his chair as he rested his arm on the table and looked at Hoss. "Only like I told you this morning, I feel strongly that by the end of the week we'll know whether or not Little Joe is coming home to lie next to his mother or if he'll recover and rejoin the fight." Ben turned his face away from Hoss and looked at the scenery in front of the house. "We'll also have word about Adam."

Hoss might have argued with his father only problem was…the man was right more times than he was wrong. That being the case, Hoss slowly stood up and excused himself.

Ben listened to Hoss' footsteps fade away and heard the front door open, and then shut. He looked towards the sky and said, "Please, for both our sakes, don't let me be listening wrong." He then too stood up. It would be suppertime soon, and he didn't want to upset Hop Sing by being late.

A/N According to Wikipedia (which may not be the best source I admit) The **Battle of the Wilderness** , fought May 5–7, 1864, was the first battle of Lt. Gen. Ulysses S. Grant's 1864 Virginia Overland Campaign against Gen. Robert E. Lee and the Confederate Army of Northern Virginia in the American Civil War.


	14. Winner in My Eyes

Chapter Fourteen

Adam pushed his horse as hard as he dared. He was grateful for all the stars that were poking holes in the sky overhead. He wasn't going to argue with the fact that the moon was full either. It made it easier when maneuvering around the trees as he went up one hill and another. A small part of him wished the Hunters lived closer, only the rest of him was glad they lived as far away from Martinsdale as they did. With all the Union officers he'd seen in town that day, the distance between it and the Hunter's home was probably what enabled the Hunters to help Joe with his fight to survive.

As Adam closed the distance between him and the Hunter's home, he found himself remembering the last talk he'd had with his baby brother…the one he'd told the Hunters about. It had been two years ago, but now, riding like the wind, Adam felt as if it was only yesterday. By the time he reached the top of the last hill he had to go up, it was almost ten at night. He knew it was an unearthly hour to be knocking on anyone's door. Though, under the circumstances, he felt was more than justified. However, Adam got a shock when he saw there was a light on in the room where Joe lay. He hoped that the light being on wasn't a bad sign. By the time Adam reached the house and dismounted his horse, Gideon Hunter had opened the front door and stepped out.

"When I heard someone approaching, I hoped it was you." Gideon said as Adam turned to face him.

The look of one who has seen, and been through, too much was in Mr. Hunter's eyes. Adam braced himself for the worst as he asked, "My brother?"

"His fever's broken and he's conscious." Mr. Hunter said slowly.

Adam would have been elated only there was something not right in the man's eyes and in his voice. If Joe's fever was gone and he was awake, why did Mr. Hunter looked as if he had the weight of the world upon his shoulders? "But?" Adam asked as he took a step towards Gideon. The only reply he got was Gideon gesturing towards the door and telling him to go to Joe. Adam hesitated and then walked past Gideon and into the house.

Adam walked quickly, but quietly, to the side of the bed. Joe's eyes-which had been closed-were open by the time Adam looked down at him. Adam gave his baby brother a smile and joked, trying to lighten the uncomfortable feeling that was now in his gut. "There's other ways to get a furlough."

"Tell me about it." Joe smirked back, closing his eyes for a moment. He then opened them back up and looked upon Adam; his eldest brother could see a look of one who is weary and tired, of one needing to rest. He had an idea, but didn't know if Joe would go for it. After all, it would mean being listed as a prisoner of war even if Joe wasn't in a prison camp. He started to open his mouth only to hear his baby brother begin to speak…and what he had to say shook Adam to the core.

"My mother's been visitin' me." Joe did his best to smile at Adam, who looked like he was going to drop. Guess he would look like that if he were in Adam's shoes, and Adam was in bed telling him that Elizabeth had been around. "Mr. Hunter's doctor came by yesterday; he sent a telegram to my colonel, Colonel Anderson. Doc came back today, Colonel Anderson answered him…" Joe closed his eyes again, but opened them when he felt Adam's hand on his shoulder.

"Gideon is taking me back to the Ponderosa, back to Pa and Hoss." Joe kept his eyes on Adam.

The look of a man with a bittersweet news was in Joe's eyes, and it chilled Adam to the bone. His heart denied what his head was beginning to see. "That is great. You will be able to recover in your own…" Adam started to say only to have Joe move his left arm across his abdomen before taking a hold of Adam's right arm.

"No, Adam, I'm going home, but I dare say I won't be there when you get back. And," Joe gave him another love filled smile, "you will make it back. Ma told me so. Only thing is, it's not going to be for a while." He paused and then sighed, "I still believe in what I fought for, but the South isn't going to win the war. Should have been over by now, but when you get families fighting each other, the struggle has a way of lasting longer than it should. Wouldn't you know I'd be on the losing end," he winked at Adam, letting him know he was only joking around and meant nothing negative by his last remarks.

Adam had to admit Little Joe had a point when it came to family feuds. And, with all the fathers, sons, cousins, and brothers fighting in the war, that's what the war felt like at times. However, he didn't want to accept what Joe had just said about the two of them not seeing each other after Joe went home. "You'll be fine. You'll get away from this war; you'll have Pa and Hoss. You'll get well."

"No, Adam, don't. Listen," Joe saw the hurt in his brother's eyes and wished he could take it away. However, his father had always said truth was better than lies. "Doc says the infection that raged through my body damaged my heart, says he can't do anything for it. He says I'll be fortunate if I get six months; maybe, a year."

Silence once again fell between the brothers, each lost in his own thoughts. That is, until Joe spoke up, "I asked Gideon to allow you to send the telegram telling Pa and Hoss about me going home. You can send it from the next town or the next, so no one here will know who you are." He chuckled softly as surprise filled Adam's eyes. "Gideon told me all about it." Joe said as he started to close his eyes, "Now get out of here. The North needs you."

Adam stood up, though he kept his eyes on his baby brother. He could tell Joe had fallen back to sleep. "The South might lose the war, Joe, but you didn't lose. You kept your integrity, and that makes you a winner in my eyes." He then turned and walked out of the room. He wanted to see if it was okay with the Hunters if he spent the night in Joe's room, morning was soon enough to ride out.

 _ **Epilogue to Follow**_

A/N As I stated before, this turned out to be more Angst/Hurt/Comfort…and, as it turned out, tragedy.


	15. Epilogue

Epilogue

Adam hurried down the street, past one business after another. He'd been running behind schedule most of the week and, for the most part, he had grit his teeth and pushed to get the work he had on his plate finished. But today, today was different. Railroad contracts, branding of cattle and all the other ranch work was being handled by his cousin, who had been helping the Cartwrights on the Ponderosa for the past couple of years. Today, Adam had more important things to attend to.

As he reached the newest building in Virginia City, Adam stopped for a moment to gaze at it. The marble building wasn't grand and spacious, but that didn't matter. What was inside is what Adam cared about, what his family cared about, not the size of it. He reached out and took a hold of the brass knob and opened the door.

"Hello, Adam." Roy, who was standing in the medium sized foyer looking at the pictures and articles that hung on the pure white walls. The articles ranged from the first battle of the Civil War to various heroic acts that took place.

"Hello," Adam smiled at the now retired sheriff, and walked over to where the pictures hung. There were several of them, many of the men who had fallen in one battle or another-on both sides. His eyes turned to an empty spot that would soon be occupied by another picture.

"They should have put his picture up there in the first place if you ask me." Roy walked up to Adam, knowing what was going to take place.

"He never told anyone," Adam smiled as he turned and looked at Roy, "and before you ask, I couldn't tell them. The day Joe was shot, I didn't see anything but Joe taking a bullet. I mean," Adam corrected himself when Roy gave him a funny look, "I saw other men, but I was too busy fighting to stay alive to really look at every man who happened to be in that skirmish that day. And, if Colonel Parker or the other officers in my unit knew, they never told me. Remember, I wasn't made an officer until after I was taken off the missing in action list."

"Then you really didn't realize just who was traveling with Joe's unit that day. You didn't realize he was intentionally taking that bullet to save General Beuregard's life." Roy said as he watched Ben, Hoss and Hoss bride, a blonde-haired woman named Cynthia, walk into the building. The gentle giant and Cynthia had married shortly after Joe had been brought home. They might have waited; however, knowing Joe's condition, they had wanted to make sure he could be Hoss' best man. Ben was holding a large frame in his hands. Since he had it facing outward, Roy could see that it was a portrait of Joe in the Confederate uniform he'd been wearing when he was brought home…the one he was buried in seven months later.

"No, I didn't, but I wasn't surprised to learn of it either. It was definitely something Joe would have done." Adam answered as his father nodded towards the meeting hall, which had a lot of noise coming from it-which told them that most of the people coming were already seated.

"We can talk about all of that later." Ben spoke up, he had to get his late son's portrait to the back of the stage, along with the other portraits-portraits of the last few men who had died as a result of the war-before the ceremonies started.

"I'll take the portrait, Pa. You, Hoss and Cynthia get us some seats, please." Adam said as he reached for the portrait his father held.

Ben might have argued with his oldest, but he happened to know Adam was starting to see the proprietor's daughter more seriously…and she oversaw the portraits back stage. Besides that, Adam-who was finally working through the guilt he'd insisted on carrying once he'd learned that Joe had indeed passed away- was going to be the one to hang the portrait anyway. That being the case, Ben saw no reason to fight Adam on it.

Hoss watched as Adam took the portrait and headed down the hallway. Then, remembering several talks he'd have with Adam since Adam had returned home, Hoss turned to his father and said, "You know, Pa, on or off the record, war is…" he glanced at his wife who was looking at him like 'I agree, not here, please.

Ben saw the look also and said, "I feel the same way, now come on. After this is over, we can all go for a picnic. I know the perfect spot."

Hoss and Cynthia smiled as they followed the Cartwright Patriarch into the meeting hall; they knew exactly where Ben was talking about…. a crystal blue lake with majestic trees and two loved ones who never turned them away when they needed someone to talk to.


End file.
